Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Dealing With A Bi-Polar Ex: FML

Someone please shoot me.  Just shoot me in the face and get it all over with now.

Today, just three weeks after terminating the visitation schedule and failing to show up to our pretrial, W. sent me the following text message.  (Yes, this is how he actually types.  I'm pretty sure he may be mentally challenged.)

"Hey amie its w. This is my new number. If its 0k with u maybe u w00d let babysitter watch me c jellybean. it w00d mean l0t t0 me. If n0t i understand."


Dear W.

Please, for the love of God, make up your f*****g mind.  If you are going to attempt to be something more than a sperm-donor, that would be just fabulous for Jellybean.  However, you will have to excuse me if I don't believe you, as you have made this "attempt" about 67 times in the past year.  Just sayin'.

If you are going to realize that you are a worthless piece of s**t and back out, that would be equally fabulous for Jellybean.  I am assuming that it would be more emotionally and mentally beneficial for her to never see you at all rather than have you pop in and out of her life randomly, loving her for a day or two and then disappearing for weeks at a time.  And if you choose to back out all together, this would be a prime opportunity to do so, as she currently has no idea who you are.  When shown photos, she just looks confused and asks if the picture is of her uncle.  Don't be offended, it's nothing personal.  It's just that you've been pretty useless throughout her entire life and, well, she doesn't know any better.

Oh, and since you failed to show up for court or basically do anything that you were supposed to, I am forced to spend even more money on this ordeal.  You know, money that could go towards providing for our my daughter. (That little girl that I was always nagging you about raising and whatnot.)  So if you could pull your head out of your a** long enough to get everything taken care of, that would be just phenomenal.

Please accept my most sincere congratulations on getting what you've always wanted: me off your back and Jellybean off your lap.  I sure hope you are enjoying yourself.  And if you are interested in any sound advice, and I'd say that by now it is fairly obvious that you aren't, I highly recommend that you take this opportunity and run.  We wouldn't want anymore unwanted responsibility and all that baby-raising bulls*** to interfere with your drinking and drugging.

Once again, congratulations on your glamorous new life.  Hope it was worth it.

With All My Respect,

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