Jellybean's middle name is special. Rianna. Not just a pretty name, it is also very meaningful.
When I was pregnant, W. and I lost two grandmothers. "Ri" comes from my Grandma Rita, who we lost in May 2009 due to a long battle with diabetes and congestive heart failure. And "anna" comes from W.'s Grandma Anna Louise, who passed away in March 2009. There is a stupid joke on W.'s side of the family that the news of our unexpected pregnancy is what killed her. Yeah, I don't hear any of you laughing either.
Jellybean would have been Grandma Rita's first great-grandchild. And no one was more excited than Grandma Rita. She even began to sign her emails as "G.G." (for "Great-Grandma"). Unfortunately, soon after we found out about the pregnancy, her health took a turn for the worse. She spent the next few months in between hospitals and nursing homes.
Hospice had just helped us move her back into her home the day she passed away. At four months pregnant, my belly was just starting to pop out. If you hadn't been looking for it, you might not have even noticed the little baby-bump that was forming. While Grandma was laying in her bed with her C-PAP still attached to her face, my mom grabbed her hand and laid it gently on my belly. "This is your first great-grandchild, Mom," she said. That moment is still so clear and so beautiful to me. Three, almost four, generations held together with one touch. She left us that evening, after only starting to crochet a white blankie for the baby-to-be.
When we went through her belongings after she passed, I scavenged her closets for any baby clothes that she may have sewn. I was in luck. We found several outfits she had made and attempted to sell on eBay. Thank goodness they never sold. These outfits may not be as fashionable as what you will find at Gymboree or Children's Place, but I have never seen my baby girl wear anything more beautiful.
G.G. would have been so proud.