Friday, July 9, 2010

I Find You Offensive For Finding Me Offensive

There are so many things that you truly don't understand until you become a mother.  For instance, how easily offended we are by the most innocent of comments made by others.

I've talked before about the stigma this culture has on young moms.  According to most of my friends and coworkers, you have to be absolutely off-of-your-rocker, banging-your-head-into-the-wall, out-of-your-mind crazy to actually want to have a child in your early twenties.  I haven't forgotten that Jellybean was an "OOPS baby," but an accident doesn't necessarily mean a mistake, right?  You wouldn't believe--or maybe you would--how many times people have asked me if I wish I had waited to had kids.  (I do not.)

"But, Amie, don't you find that there are certain challenges that come along with being a young mom?"

"Just the challenge of dealing with people who ask stupid questions..."

During a conversation with a coworker, she (is not yet a parent) said, "Well, obviously you wouldn't have chosen to be a mom at twenty-one."  Is it unreasonable to be offended by this?  I mean, isn't raising my daughter--therefore being a mom--my choice?

I remember when I was six or seven years old, I accidentally bumped the car parked next to ours with my mom's car door.  And the car owner was sitting in the car.  And she heard and saw everything.  She didn't get out of the car, she didn't even roll down the window, all she did was glare at me through the windshield.  My mom FREAKED. OUT.  on this completely innocent lady.  I pity the fool who looks at her child the wrong way...

One thing about being a parent, is we get the chance to be on both sides of this matter.  More than likely, you have been on the offending side of the conversation.  More than likely, feeling like an ass.

In some cases, I have even been offended when another mother was offended by me... I know, shut up.  My friend's daughter was almost two at the time and she slapped my newborn in the face with a baby doll bottle.  On instinct, I grabbed her hand just before she hit my daughter again and said, "NO," resulting in tears from her.  Her mother--who, might I add, watched the entire thing without saying a word--was offended by the tone of voice I used towards her daughter... are you kidding me?

I wonder exactly what it is about childbirth that turns this...

...into this...


  1. This made me laugh out loud, especially the pictures at the end.

  2. I too love the photos! I've learned that everyone has different views on "proper parenting" and that if you're going to be offended by me then that's your problem. Being a stepmom sometimes my friends are still just amazed and it's not that I'm offended, it's just I don't have an answer that seems magnificent enough. They say things like "I just don't know how you do it, I don't think I could." And I usually follow up with "Yeah, I don't know how I do it either."

  3. I get the young mom comments all the time too. When I found out I was pregnant, someone told me that they "didn't think it was a good idea." Really? Thanks for that. Another friend said that it was "stupid" and I got pregnant for attention. WOW!

    I turn 20 this month and I'm married and have a little tot- and I LOVE MY LIFE. People seem to think I'm some poor burdened girl who made a bunch of mistakes...arggg.

    Ok, rant off.


  4. Wow, some friends!

    No offense to any women who waited until later to have kids, there are pros and cons to both sides--but I enjoy being young enough to have the energy to keep up with my crawling, climbing, rolling, FAST little one. And I'm with ya sister, I love my life too!