Tuesday, March 29, 2011

From Doormat to Pit Bull

Saturday morning, Ant and I were loading the kids into their car seats to do some shopping, which is a rather stressful endeavor that usually involves at least one temper tantrum, a lost shoe or two, three or four trips back into the house for a forgotten sippy-cup or blankie, and one toddler darting for the street while we’re strapping in the other two. Needless to say, I’m usually ready to march all three of them back into the house for nap time by the end of the whole ordeal.

So, while I’m wrangling the trio of terror, Ant was tending to a far more pressing matter: checking the mail. Because, God help us, we all know it couldn’t have sat in the box another two hours until we arrived home. Never mind the young girl fighting three toddlers in the driveway, please be sure to check the mail, honey. After strapping the children into their car seats like mental patients to their beds and muttering under my breath threats of throwing myself into oncoming traffic, Ant handed me a cream-colored envelope. I could tell by the almost buttery hue that this was my lawyer’s trademark stationary. After the last letter I received from LawyerLady that was leaning towards bad news, I wasn’t terribly excited to open this envelope. But all of the frustration and tension of the day were lifted from my shoulders when I laid eyes on the letter.

Now this isn’t a huge jump of progress in this divorce/custody battle, but just to know that things are looking to go in my direction is good enough to keep me smiling until court.

Dear Amie:

I reviewed your lengthy diary and history regarding the problems you have had throughout the marriage with W. While I have indicated to you that it is very rare that the Court would restrict his visitation indefinitely, I believe that based on what you have presented your case might be one of the cases the Court would consider as far as restricted visitation. If you wish to present testimony, we should wait until the pretrial which, as you know is scheduled for April 7, 2011 at 1:30 p.m. At that time, it is likely that we will be assigned a trial date. On the day of the trial, we can present testimony from you and any other witnesses that you would like to bring in to address the issue of W.’s visitation.

As of this date, I have checked the docket and W. has still not retained an attorney nor has he filed an answer. He has, however, completed the parenting class as was previously ordered.

It is probably not necessary for me to see you before April 7th. However, after that date, we should get together to prepare the testimony for you and your witnesses and to gather in any documents that will be used as exhibits in your trial. I will look forward to hearing from you.

Attorney at Law

The moral of the story, boys and girls, is to journal, journal, journal! Keep track of every little piece of bullshit that gets thrown at you. The second moral of the story is not to become discouraged. When your lawyer tells you that he/she doesn’t think things will go in your direction, don’t be afraid to speak up and remind them exactly why you feel it should go in that direction. The final moral here is that if feels fan-freaking-tastic to stop being a doormat and start being a pit bull.  Finally standing up for Jellybean and, yes, for myself too, is the best feeling I've had in a while.


  1. Amie,

    I have sat here today and read your entire blog from start to finish and I must say congrats!! You are doing an awesome job with your beautiful "jellybean" and you have really inspired me.

    I have a little girl, Katie, who just turned 6 weeks old today. I am a 24 year old single mother and as I'm sure you know it is very difficult to find the motivation some days. Today was definitely one of those days after we stayed up alllllll night last night. I stumbled across your blog and I just wanted to say thanks!

  2. @Kimberly,
    Start to finish--wow that takes some committment! Your daughter is awfully young to be raising her on your own, but I know how you feel. Feel free to email if you ever need to vent or just need a listening ear. (or... um... reading eyes, I guess.)

  3. Yay!!! That is really some sunshine for you! And good job getting all three of them buckled in. I have a hard enough time with one 6 month old. I couldn't imagine three toddlers!

  4. Yeah! Things might start getting better for you :)
    By the way, what did I miss? 3 Toddlers? I'm guessing 2 are Ants?

  5. @Alyssa
    Yep you missed a few posts :) In March I did a few update posts that should fill you in. Also, my side bar (to the right) gives you a little bit of a break down.

  6. Okay went back and read what I missed. I feel so in the loop now ;)